Dear Fantasy Football,
First of all I want to congratulate you, your marketing tactics have been phenomenal. Combined with the lack of NHL action this year, you are poised to take over the world (or maybe just North America). I applaud your ability to take a man who was once just a simple Giants fan, and morph him into an “every god damn team in the NFL” fan. Well done, you floozy.
Now I am asking you, no… begging you, please free my boyfriend from your elusive grip. I can admit that I just can’t compete with your seductive lure. The Sunday, Monday and now Thursday football sessions have proven too strong a temptress. I’m sorry, but It’s time for you to prey on someone else’s man… time for you to turn a once easy going lacrosse fan into an NFL stat checking, remote hogging, trash talking fiend!
PS. If you could end things quickly it would be much appreciated… Grey’s Anatomy is on tonight.