You asked for it. You got it.
This will probably be the least cohesive blog post you’ve ever read. Consider yourself warned. This is basically just a day in the life… inside my head. Should I apologize in advance? I’m not sure yet.
1.) I love the Talus Dome. I do. I love those big beautiful balls. (There’s really no way to write that and make it sound ok, deal with it.) Still unhappy about them Edmonton? It could be worse, we could have Calgary’s “Blue Ring.”
2.) The world will not come to an end when Canada Post home mail delivery does. Guess what? I’ve never had at home mail delivery in my life and I have still managed to A.) Survive and B.) Get mail. It’s a miracle really, they’re considering making a statue of me to commemorate my heroic mail getting efforts.
3.) I think that #OscarsSoWhite had some very valid and important points.
4.) It’s a really good thing you have that “Baby on Board” decal in your car window. I was just about to ram into your vehicle and then I saw it and thought, “hmmm… better not.” (Editor’s note: I just learned that this decal is for first responders in case of an accident. Must be in the mom club handbook, who knew!)
5.) When “our kids” are getting married and they make their dance floor playlist, what will the “we have to add some oldies for the old people” music be? I, for one, am voting for some Jay Z, Dr. Dre, Snoop, Salt N Peppa, Old Dirty Bastard, Tupac and Usher. No “Brown Eyed Girl” or “YMCA” here my friends.
6.) Why do people get so obsessed with “Millennials” and the whole generation thing? It feels like one of the last acceptable ways to stereotype. I also don’t get when the previous generation complains about the current generation. Aren’t we all just a reaction of each other’s? But maybe that’s just my Generation Y showing…
7.) How the eff does anyone decide to become a driver’s training teacher? I’ve clutched desperately at the car door for my life in some of my friend’s vehicles (ahem… Nicki) and they passed their driver’s test! I can’t even imagine what driving with the kids who don’t pass is like.
8.) I really thought the movie Junior with Arnold Schwarzenegger was quite progressive. I feel a little mislead though, it’s 22 years later and men still aren’t having babies. What gives?
9.) When you post a photo of yourself looking off into the distance all I can think about is the person taking that photo and how weird they must have felt when you asked them to take your photo and then you just turned around. This especially boggles my mind when it’s a vacation pic – I imagine the photographer just running away with your camera while you’re posing your back off.
10.) That also brings me to the car selfie. Why? I don’t get it. 1.) Are you driving? 2.) Did you pull over? 3.) Did you arrive or is this before you left your house?
I’m pretty sure we’d all just rather see a picture of you at the place you were headed.
11.) Why are we so obsessed with Facebook Memories and Time Hop? In 2020 we’ll get a Facebook Memory from today and it will be a picture of us on our phone looking at a Facebook Memory from 2007 that we shared in 2016 while ignoring everyone around us. This generation, hey? 😉
12.) If you complain to a company’s social media account, they should be allowed to respond with the same amount of sass that you gave. It’s only fair. Respect = Respect. Well sass should damn well equal sass! (I’d be SO good at it…)
13.) I kind of miss your cryptic Facebook posts about “some people” who are so selfish and only think of themselves and how you’ll be better off without them in your life.
14.) I’m not really a religious person but I hope when I die there is somebody up there that I can talk to and ask a bunch of meaningful and important questions like: What the hell happened to my favourite blue Abercrombie and Fitch tank top that I lost in grade 10? How many pieces of pizza did I eat in my entire life? What IS my actual favourite food?
15.) And finally, how the eff does the internet work? I like to think I’m a smart person but I’m gonna go with magic because everything else sounds way too complicated to believe.