5 Things You Will Find in a Mom’s Facebook Group

The first rule of a Mom’s Facebook Group is that you can’t talk about the Mom’s Facebook Group, here’s hoping I don’t get kicked out. As a new mom I joined a number of local and national groups and let me tell you, the entertainment value is high. While there is a lot of practical information shared, girl power and all that jazz, there are a lot of other posts that I find amusing…

1.) More rash photos than Google Images.

Safe to say we are all hand, foot, and mouth disease experts now. Can we all please agree on something? Do not take medical advice from a bunch of moms on Facebook! If you have a medical question, call Health Link, not Linda the local Facebook rash expert.

2.) One million uses for *breastmilk.

Rash? Put breastmilk on it. Cradle cap? Breastmilk. Eye infection? Breastmilk. Car won’t start? Breastmilk.

*Can be substituted for coconut oil.

3.) Multi Level Marketing Mamas ready to pounce.

NEVER post the following questions in a Mom’s FB Group: What is your favourite skincare line? How do you get thicker hair? And worst of all: How do you ladies make a little extra money while staying home with your kids?

4.) More shit talk than your husband’s group chat, literally.

Soooo many dirty diaper pics and posts about baby poop. I didn’t realize how obsessed we would all become with pee and poop! I regret checking Facebook while eating lunch now. Let’s refer back to #1, shall we?

5.) Hysterical TMI posts you can’t believe people would put on the internet…. next to their first and last name… and a photo of themselves.

Some of these groups have thousands of people in them but alas, the need for advice from other moms trumps the need for discretion. My personal favourite involved a husband who had cut up a bunch of jalapeños and then scratched his junk. Wonder if they tried putting breastmilk on it…

Thank you FB Mom’s Groups for keeping me informed and entertained. And remember, the answer to “do you think I should call poison control?” and “do you think I should take my baby to the doctor?” is always “Yes!”